Good evening internet friends! Today I’m really excited to talk to those of you who still live with your parents for a variety of reasons. You either have to support a sibling or a parent, or you haven’t been financially independent yet, so you haven’t been detached from the family nest.
I ‘ve recently read some really useful advice on the subject, at Elina Furman ‘s book The Boomerang Nation in which she talks about her experience living with her mom and sister for seven years after finishing college.
The book is quite brief to tell you the truth. There ‘re only 210 easy-to-read short pages that I surely recommend, since you can finish it in a couple of days, or a week if you wanna take it slow.
Not to bother you with a long prologue I’ll get into the point.
Firstly, from a sociological standpoint, we have to acknowledge the stigma that accompanies the adults who are still living in their parents’ house, coupled up with shame and disappointment. So all you have to do is realise that this is no reason to feel guilty, humiliated or bashful about it at all. Indeed, there are more people who identify under the term “boomerangers”, the ones that have come back, than ever before. The economic crisis and alter in traditional values, like marriage that’s being postponed longer and longer, it’s not a surprise that we find ourselves bonding and coping with our existing families rather than creating new ones.
But returning back home after living on your own pace for several years can be a challenge. It is an undeniable fact that you have grown and developed emotionally and physically, you ‘ve developed your own habits and your way of dealing with things. From simple tasks like how to clean the house, to more complex ones like how to communicate and take care of your obligations and your precious self. The unfortunate thing is that parents tend to keep in their mind their little kid, who needs to be told what to do all the time. I personally faced that, when I returned back home and it was exhausting to tell you the truth. But fear not my friends! There ‘s a solution to that, and for your info parents can be trained into a new logic and new order of things. What you can do is to be clear and bold on what you want and how you think things would operate better. Just state your opinion with a clear thesis and you ‘re done.. Don’t forget that you ‘re equal and your word counts as much as theirs. It all has to do with attitude, trust me on that. Also, don’t forget to be responsible and a wo-man of your words.
What is more you have to set your own borders in terms of privacy and independence. What I mean is that you’ll have to set some rules about your personal space, either this is your room, the garage or the back yard house you’re using. Your house-mates-parents-siblings should respect that and leave you on your own pace whenever is requested or needed.
Also, don’t forget that helping with the household is essential and will give you extra credits on proving your worth. If you make some money from a part-time job you can contribute with a small amount of money for the bills, otherwise make sure to provide your services in other ways. For example you can do your own or family’s laundry, help with shopping and cleaning and volunteer to do some unpleasant tasks like cluttering the basement or the garage and deal with some bureucracy, like paying bills and taxes, or taking care of the family insurance. This will make you look and feel more valued, valuable and mature at the same time.
I hope this advice was handy. More tips on the topic are coming on the second part, don’t miss it!
Kisses until next time!